One of the difficulties I have in giving up perfectionism is that you I still retain some beliefs that I am who I am and I have achieved what I have achieved because of perfectionism. In my mind there are benefits of perfectionism and I am too scared of the consequences of letting them go.

Interestingly, at the same time as believing there are benefits I can clearly see and understand many disadvantages associated with being a perfectionist. What I haven't been able to do is accept that being a perfectionist IS NOT beneficial or healthy (FULL STOP!) and that the fact is that I would be as likely to achieve as much if I wasn't focused on perfection and I would certainly be happier.

My perfection, anxiety and depression are all interrelated and have combined to become a vicious circle of self-defeating thoughts and behaviours. The use of alternative thoughts for my depression has worked well so I am now working on alternative thoughts to my anxious and perfectionist behaviours.

The first action I have taken is to attempt to just return to work and not to spend an unhealthy amount of time planning and pre-empting events and situations. The focus is purely on returning to work, the rest can be dealt with once I have achieved this - ONE SMALL STEP AT A TIME