I mentioned in my last post about Mindfullness stress reduction. If you are interested here is a video from Jon Kabat-Zinn where he discusses the techniques used.

Time and time again I hear people claim that if you were suffering from depression you would know and I wonder how often this misconception is preventing people from seeking help when they need it. Reading the question "Therapy now or later?" made me think about that this again.

I do not know if the people are basing the claim "You know if you are depressed" on personal experience or not and whilst it may well be true that some (who knows, maybe it's even most people?) know that they have depression and didn't need a diagnosis from a medical professional. I can tell you that I did not think I had depression (other people get depression!), did not suffer from anxiety anymore than anyone else (I am completely in control and can't possibly have anxiety!) and I was absolutely 100% certain that I wasn't a perfectionist (I wasn't good enough to be a perfectionist!).

The only reason I discovered I was depressed was because things got so bad that my wife left me and I thought going to the doctors might help get her back. If it has been suggested that you are suffering from depression and you aren't so sure then I would recommend the following:-

1. Listen to the person suggesting you are depressed.
   You don't have to agree with them but you will certainly learn things by listening to them. It could be that they need help themselves, they might have some valuable experience of depression but they are almost certainly are trying to help you.
2. Ask the person why they think you are depressed.
   It's unlikely a complete stranger is going to say you are depressed. So, I assume you have a relationship of some kind with the person and as part of a healthy relationship you will value and sometime ask for their opinion. Keep in mind that things can seem pretty different from another point of view and it may be that even if you aren't depressed then there must at least be some sort of communication problem. Asking and listening to what they think might help improve communication and strengthen your relationship.
3. Be honest with yourself.
   This is a hard one! It's hard enough when your well but if you are depressed you might have trouble with this. Your thought and behaviours will be muddled by depression so if you have any doubt at all or if the other person really does seem concerned then please always use my fourth recommendation.
4. Seek a professional opinion.
   The person best qualified to determine if you have depression is someone who has received training, has experience of mental health disorders and has the right diagnostic tools. Your first stop should be your GP and if you feel awkward seeing your normal doctor then why not see someone else?

As someone with a history of mental health problems I can look back and see that at certain times in my life I would have been the worst person to objectively assess the state of my own mental health. If you have concerns or others have concerns about how you are feeling then seeking help would be a positive way of proving that you are well or perhaps more importantly a positive step in getting better.

I have just been reminded of something I said in my last CBT session. We were discussing the positive influences in my life and an odd thought struck me - during my childhood the TV frequently became an object that caused much stress in my family and I resent my father for not letting me watch children's programmes and particularly cartoons as a child but oddly a family friend who we lived with for some time didn't have a TV and yet whilst although the family friends actions prevented me from watching TV completely I admired and respected him for it!

The difference between the two situations? My father just wanted to watch his own programmes or use the TV as a tool against me whilst the family friend took the opportunity to use the lack of TV  to teach me things like chess, cards, building bonfires and working in the workshop. 

This is an important lesson for me and hopefully the next time I don't want my children to do something I will not just stop them from doing it but also invest the time in them to encourage them to do something positive instead.

I have been taking Trazadone for about 3 weeks now and I am waiting for my doctor to prescribe me an alternative due to the side-effects. At first it didn't seem to help me to get to sleep but did help me sleep better once I was asleep. Now, I think it is starting to help me get to sleep but the constipation, nausea, headaches, faintness/dizzyness and lose of coordination are definitely causing me problems. The doc is looking at prescribing me an anti-histamine instead.

It must be quite frustrating for medical staff dealing with people like me who seem prone to having problems the side-effects of medication

There is a story on the BBC web site called  "Mental health poll reveals stigma" based on a Poll carried out by mental health charity Rethink. It hightlights the stigma faced by people suffering from mental health disorders. The most interesting thing was that they found that family and neighbours were most likely to treat them differently and I can certainly relate to that.

When I told my parents that I had been diagnosed with depression my father with his usual wisdom declaring that I should "pull my socks up" and my mother didn't really say anything. Leaving to go to my first counselling session my mother showed interest and support whilst my father with considerable deep, thorough and mature understanding told me "they will just blame it on a bad childhood and your parents." and that I was wasting my time. My sister didn't really say anything and pretty much chose to ignore it.

Years later my father was diagnosed with depression and he was admitted to hospital, took anti-depressents and even went counselling. It is nice to think that my father learnt from my experience and so was able to get treated for depression but as soon as he felt a bit better he stopped taking the anti-depressents and counselling. He couldn't work any more and had to take early retirement and he is a nightmare to deal with but learning from my parents I remember how I felt because of my fathers reaction so I try to be as supportive as I can be (not easy!!!).