I was pretty good at sports when I was younger but it was purely luck and I never really took it very seriously. Running and playing football was great fun but as I grew older the fun was taken out of it because of my competitors didn't like it when I won and if I lost they would make it even worse - so win or lose I couldn't win (if you see what I mean).

Anyway, watching the Olympics this year has been great. Watching the winners celebrate their achievements has been fantastic, watching people win who never expected to even get a medal has been great and also Team GB are doing very well.

But what has perhaps been most interesting is the way that many of the competitors have overcome some terrible obstacles to achieve their dreams of Olympic success. For example just watching the weightlifting I heard that it was just over a year ago when Gold medalist Matthias Steiner lost his wife in a car accident and Silver medalist Evgeny Chigishev was seriously injured in a stabbing in 2001. Many of the athletes in these games have failed in previous attempts, sometimes in heartbreaking fashion but somehow they have overcome these situations to carry on and win. And I haven't even mentioned the Paraolympics!!!

It would be interesting to learn how these athletes manage to overcome their dissapointments. Are they just competitive? Is it because they have the right kind of support? Have they learnt to handle defeat through training? Could those of us with mental health problems who struggle with life learn something from the Olympians?

I have just been reminded of something I said in my last CBT session. We were discussing the positive influences in my life and an odd thought struck me - during my childhood the TV frequently became an object that caused much stress in my family and I resent my father for not letting me watch children's programmes and particularly cartoons as a child but oddly a family friend who we lived with for some time didn't have a TV and yet whilst although the family friends actions prevented me from watching TV completely I admired and respected him for it!

The difference between the two situations? My father just wanted to watch his own programmes or use the TV as a tool against me whilst the family friend took the opportunity to use the lack of TV  to teach me things like chess, cards, building bonfires and working in the workshop. 

This is an important lesson for me and hopefully the next time I don't want my children to do something I will not just stop them from doing it but also invest the time in them to encourage them to do something positive instead.

"The Third Wave" tells a story of a teacher who provides a powerful lesson about Nazi Germany and more importantly a lesson about what appears to be our natural human desires and needs. The story very much reflects my own experience and has reminded me of how my desires and needs have shaped me and effect my depression and anxiety.

Also, the Jehovah Witnesses are a frequent visitor to our doorstep and on the last visit I accepted a book (bible type thing) from them and said I would read some of it (which I have). They have also asked to come back to discuss their beliefs with me for 10 minutes which much to my parners surprise I accepted (I am an athiest). When I explained to my partner that the Jehovah Witnesses have something that I was interested in she was even more surprised but I went on to explain that they have a very strong religious belief, that many people find religion gives them strength in situations such as mine and that I might be able to learn something about this trait by listening to them. Personally, I find religion to be very much in line with the story of "The Third Wave" but I hope that how other people gain strength from religious beliefs might help me gain strength in my own beliefs (although not religous) and increase my confidence and self-esteem.

I don't have high hopes of getting much out of the meeting but not working means I have spare time during the day so I haven't got anything to lose. 

Sometimes I have these ideas but have difficulty describing them to others. So, when I overheard someone mention the phrase "No failure, only feedback" during a discussion of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) it seemed like an excellent description of one of my beliefs.

At the end of the day I am never going to achieve perfection (I've learnt that it is not a very healthy goal) and if I focus on doing the best I can, accept that I'm not always going to get it right, that I can't control or preempt everything then I don't have to feel like a failure or feel like I have somehow failed and instead I can continue to focus on my goal and use the mistakes, errors or unexpected outcomes as lessons learnt. OR simply put "No failure, only feedback".

If you were in a band you would be regularly interviewed and asked about your influences but I think it's interesting to learn about other peoples influences as well. Some people may have been surprised at my previous choice of J.K.Rowling and I think today's choice of Gordon Ramsay is probably as surprising due to his sometimes controversial reputation. For the few people who do not know Gordon Ramsay is a famous chef, TV personality, cook book author and entrepreneur.

His auto-biography Humble Pie is a fascinating read and written in typical Ramsay style. Whilst you may be put off by the constant swearing and fiery temper shown frequently on the TV shows such as Hells Kitchen and Kitchen Nightmares, watch a bit longer and you will find a man who's passion is driving by a desire to be totally honest, passionate, caring and fun. Ramsay is a man who wears his heart on his sleeve which is a quality I admire but for me the most interesting and inspirational aspect of this man is his dogged determinedness to succeed but not at any cost. It is important that success is only achieved by doing things properly and if something goes wrong he fights and tries again.

Photo: Courtesy of Dave Pullig (license)